The Love Lottery by Raj Dhaliwal

Author:Raj Dhaliwal [Raj Dhaliwal]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781912262717
Publisher: Clink Street Publishing
Published: 2017-02-15T05:00:00+00:00

The Telephone Interview

Right, let’s say we are fast approaching six o’clock. What do we do? Do we call on the dot and give the possible impression we are desperate or very keen? Or do we call at half past six and then come across as too relaxed or even not bothered about keeping them waiting with our poor timekeeping?

I might be accused of thinking too deep into these things but upon conversing with many a friend and colleague on the subject of dating and other attributes associated, it is apparent that the initial conversation will set the tone and direction of whatever may be going forwards.

Okay, it’s ten past six! Ring Ring Ring baby! WTF?! Damn her phone is engaged! Ok, no problem, we shall call back in a few.

It’s now a quarter past six. Okay, deep breaths! In… and now out… don’t give birth to anything! Okay Ring Ring Ring! Shit not again! It’s gone through to voicemail! Damn it. Shall I leave a voice message? Sod it. Let’s.

You feel like saying:

“Hi… it’s me. You know, the guy whom you asked to call you at six o’clock! You were engaged and now not answering. Buzz me back if you’re serious as I have plenty of other shit to do this evening. Bye!”

But actually, what you end up saying, in a cool and calm manner, would put any diplomat to shame:

“Hi… It’s me! Just calling to see how you’re doing. It looks like I have just missed you. No problemo. I hope all is okay and I shall catch up with you as and when. Take Care. Bye!”

As soon as the phone is hung up, a number of thoughts will enter the mind.

“Hopefully it’s not the flirt divert number and some dodgy DJ will not be playing it on the radio for all to hear and ridicule!”

“Will she actually bother to answer back? What if she has no reception? Why wouldn’t she? She agreed to the phone call?”

Then a stroke of pure genius! I shall send her a whatsapp! Brilliant! I basically then put the same sentence down into words on whatsapp and send. I then proceed to do the hokey cokey with whatsapp. I’m logged in. I’m logged out. In. Out. In. Out. Shake the phone about!

“Whoah! She is online! She has received the message as there are now two ticks! They’re blue! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Halle Lujah! Eh? WTF?! She has logged out! God damn!”

Wait a minute, wait a minute! The phone buzzes and then the Benny Hill ring tone starts to blare out! Louder and louder and building to a crescendo!

One ring – nope, too early, too desperate!

Two rings – nope, still too early!

Three rings – not yet, steady on fella! Just one more!

Four rings – quick! Pick up pick up you damn fool before it goes to voicemail

Then I answer the phone cool, calm and collected.

“Bonjour! (I go French), comon ca’va ce soir? How are we? … What was I doing? … Oh nothing much. Just pottering around and lost track of time.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.